A Lament

My Lord
I am in the crowd – I see you…
But I can’t touch you.
How can you be so close,
And yet always feel beyond my reach?
Do you see how I’m bleeding?
You must know how weak I am,
And how now even my will to get to You
Has dwindled to a faint hope.
The crowd between us overpowers me.
In my desolation and loneliness,
I have surrendered my place at your side.
I have slipped into a different identity.
I have bought the lies.
“Unseen.”
“Insignificant.”
“Overlooked.”
They jeer at me.
In a moment of quiet,
I lift my head.
I meet Your gaze.
The compassion of El Roi
Beckons, “Come closer.”
Jesus, if only I could touch you
Anointed by your Presence,
The bleeding would stop.
I would be whole.
I could live fully again.

But what of the crowd?
What of the lies?
How will I find the strength to
press in ?

O God, who gives strength to the weary,
I am weary.
Strengthen me.
O God, who gives power to the weak,
I am weak.
Empower me.
Give me eyes to see you,
To behold your grace and mercy.
Give me ears to hear you,
Drowning out the lies with Truth.
Give me a heart captivated by you
No longer deterred by the crowd.
I know You to be faithful.
Over and over again,
You have delivered me from despair
And drawn me to your love
with whispered words of hope.
I choose to trust
You will do it again.
With renewed determination
I reach for the hem….