Bittersweet

Those of you who appreciate the wonder of dark chocolate are well aware of the way bitter and sweet can combine to create something nearly miraculous... If it's the really good stuff, the sweet is not overpowered by the bitter, nor is the bitter overshadowed by the sweet. It is the coming together of these discordant flavors that makes it so satisfying - especially with coffee!
"Bittersweet" is the perfect way to describe the flavor.

There is another familiar way to use this descriptor. Like anyone who has lived long enough, I've found myself well-acquainted with the bittersweetness of this life.

Bittersweet.
I use this word a lot.

The last five years have been extremely difficult for my family, as we have faced my husband's shocking diagnosis with terminal brain cancer, lived under the shadow of death for over three years, and have grieved his absence for two years now.

In the past five years, as a family, we have also collectively celebrated dozens of birthdays, eight graduations, seven anniversaries, the marriages of two of our children, the births of two grandbabies, and many other wonderful occasions.

This five-year journey has been horrifying and beautiful.
It has been one of profound sorrow and indescribable joy.
It has been devastating and transformative.

When I talk about joy, I'm not necessarily talking about a feeling of happiness, although there has certainly been happiness. But more importantly, I'm talking about the deep knowing of the goodness of God and the recognition of His innumerable blessings.

Sometimes, I get the feeling that others may not grasp that when I say that my experience has been "bittersweet," I'm not trying to say, mostly joyful, but slightly tinged with grief. Or that I am joyful, but my grief is so profound, that I can't recognize the sweetness.

Rather, I am attempting to communicate that BOTH joy and grief fully co-exist within me.

Our culture doesn't do so well with this kind of language. We prefer to categorize neatly:
Is it good or bad?
Is it positive or negative?
Am I weak or strong?
Am I happy or sad?
Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
....It must be one or the other!

But our reality is far more complex and nuanced than this.

Body and Spirit
Joy and Sorrow
Life and Death
Grief and Hope

In light of eternity, these exist, not in opposition to each other, but suspended in powerful tension with one another - like a thick rubber band stretched tight.

This is the context of authentic faith, one that moves to a deeper understanding of "both-and" - the place of the sacred and often bittersweet tension between seemingly incompatible realities.

Jesus lived perfectly in the holy space of both-and.
Fully God and fully man...
Man of sorrows and Prince of peace
Suffering servant and conquering King.

The God of the Bible invites us into a faith journey with Him; it is one that is full of paradox and mystery. But we can press on courageously, knowing that  on this narrow and often difficult path, we are empowered by His grace to live fully in the bittersweetness of life this side of heaven. 

We can rejoice with sorrow.
We can grieve with hope.
We can lean in with great anticipation for the completion of our joy.

This is the good and very sweet news of the Gospel.

May His grace, peace, and joy be yours on the journey.